You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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