i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
