so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
