I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We smell like vodka and hangover
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
