need another drink. this is the easiest way
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
