Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
