Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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