Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
