if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
