wanna go halves on a baby?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize