My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This house was built for laser tag.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
