We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
