So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
