I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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