we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
