Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
