I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize