Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
