Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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