do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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