I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
