From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
