I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
