turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My penis needs a shock collar
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
