Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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