call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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