I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
