Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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