He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize