are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
