It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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