Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Found the puke drawer
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize