I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
