left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
