ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
