I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
