i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Terrible idea I love it
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Is that strawberry winking at me??
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
