Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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