just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
