we're blogging at a bar
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
