Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
