remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
