ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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