I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
