Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
