Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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