Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
