First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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