What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
