let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
