Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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