living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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