and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
