either way he was missing a nipple.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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