There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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