So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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