Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
