Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
