guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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