Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sorry about my life...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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