i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
