In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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