yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
